Filed under: great finds, video | Tags: chuck, death, PSA, sex, sex education, sexually transmitted infections, sperm, spit, swallow, woodchuck
If you swallow sperm, you will get pregnant.
If you get pregnant, you will die!
And yes, you can potentially get an STI from swallowing sperm.
(One of these things is not like the others…)
Filed under: recommendations, video | Tags: sex, Transporter, movie, sequel, Jason Statham, Chinatown, deadline, sexual tension, testosterone, joy, stab, girlfriend, face
There are movies that make you laugh. There are movies that make you cry. There are movies that make you want to stab your girlfriend in the face for making you watch it.
Then there are the most awesome movies in the world, with a simple formula: Jason Statham + improbable situation where he has to do something before a certain deadline or else he blows up while needing to deal with a lot of sexual tension with respective hot chick in many awkward scenes that are sort of poorly acted but it doesn’t really matter because they either end with him banging a girl in Chinatown or killing someone = my head just exploded with testosterone-y joy.
Behold, Transporter 3:
Filed under: observations | Tags: Chinese, dirty, food, ghetto, names, New York, restaurant, sex
People have been recommending “Joe’s Shanghai” as a restaurant to me. Really? Joe’s Shanghai?
I’m not sure how I feel about shitty-American-first-name-plus-respective-chinese-city as a good place to eat (I do, however, know how I feel about shitty American first names). But supposedly it really is actually well-received. So I image Googled it, and this is what a found:
It looks kind of ghetto. A little bit dirty. This is good.
Chinese food is like sex. It’s gotta be a little dirty to be good.
Filed under: observations | Tags: desires, experience, life, love, lust, sex, sight, smell, sound, taste, touch
Woman. Immaculate.
I want to see her
Lips.
Nose.
Ears.
And eyes.
What’s on her mind?
I want to touch her
Face.
Hands.
Neck.
And all over.
How does her body feel against mine?
I want to smell her
Sweat.
Hair.
Lust.
And skin.
Where has she been?
I want to hear her
Pleasure.
Pain.
Fears.
And desires.
What? Where? How? When?
I want to taste her
Lips.
Skin.
Sweat.
Pleasure.
Is she sweet?
Of course she is.
She always is.
—
Being curious is what I do. It’s what people everywhere should do. Window. I want to see through it. What’s on the other side? Fabric. I want to touch it. What does it feel like against my fingers? Flower. I want to smell it (granted, not during allergy season). Is it sensational? Music. I want to hear it. Can I drown myself in the harmony? Food. I want to taste it. Will I want to spit it out?
