Filed under: stand-up journal | Tags: 30, 30dayscreenplay, April, blog, comedy, days, futile, internet, love, month, NaNoWriMo, national, New York, novel, Orange County, scarce, screenplay, Script Frenzy, writing
Living without Internet.
Other than what should be a complete oxymoron, living without Internet is pretty much the most inconvenient thing I can do to myself. So unfortunately for you, my blog posts have become scarce, and my comedy updates intermittent.
But we’re back, at least for tonight. Since tonight, is a big night. Not only do I have a new video for YouTube (patience…I will post it soon), it’s also April 1st. If there were ever a month that could be anthropomorphically described as a burning pile of whore, April would be said pile.
Why?
Because I’m a bitter, bitter, human being, and I still remember the terrible loss I suffered from last year’s Script Frenzy, a national contest every April where millions of writers join to try to complete a screenplay in 30 days1, duly documented at the original 30dayscreenplay.blogspot.com. Exactly a year ago I began a journey. Thirty days later, I ended up with a magnificent 13 pages. Pathetic. I cried horribly and ate loads of chocolate while watching 27 Dresses.
But that was Orange County. This is New York. Different time, different story. More importantly – less sun, and a nonexistent love life2. This year, I shall so excruciatingly punish Script Frenzy with my furious typing that Script Frenzy won’t know the difference between brass knuckles to the face and its mother’s warm, welcoming teets3.
So go check it out. 30dayscreenplay. The challenge gets taken on for a second season.
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1Brought to you by the guys who started National Novel Writing Month (aka NaNoWriMo), where you write a novel in 30 days. Sherlock, I think I sense a pattern here…
2Okay, my love life was always nonexistent. But really, less sun this year, less distractions.
3See what I did there? I’m trying to say I’m going to punish Script Frenzy so bad that brass knuckles will actually seem nice, much like its mother’s warm, welcoming teets. I think Script Frenzy may be a cow.
Filed under: photoshop, stand-up journal | Tags: screenplay, spam, Google, puns, comeback, Jo Koy, Comedy Central, Lipstick Jungle
I’ve been gone for too long.
So long, in fact, that Google thinks one of my blogs is spam. I just got an email from Blogger that my blog “has been identified as potential spam. Please request for a review or else your blog will be deleted within 20 days.”
Yes, I was in a slump. Between attending Jo Koy’s Comedy Central Special live taping and becoming sociopathic when I learned Lipstick Jungle was getting axed, I had my fair share of late night Fridays, walking around town alone, talking to myself. This cycle repeated until I realized that that’s how homeless people go crazy, and more importantly, that Lipstick Jungle isn’t getting cancelled. So I grabbed a medium Pinkberry, walked by a homeless guy, and laughed at his misfortune of not having an internet connection to watch Lipstick Jungle on hulu.
I wasn’t depressed. I just needed a break. So now I’m back, refreshed, and better than ever. This ain’t no weak shit comeback a la New Kids on the Block, either. This is a John-McClane-punches-fighter-jets-and-makes-them-explode comeback. I got a whole new slate of show dates to check out. First one is tomorrow night, Saturday, November 22, 8:00 PM at the New York Comedy Club.
The old Writing a Screenplay in 30 Days is getting moved to it’s new home on WordPress. Recently, the screenplay in question had grown by a page. The new blog is still undergoing reorganization and redesign, so please be patient.
That’s it for now. Big things are a comin’.
…
Pun not intended. Until I just realized it. Then I intended it.
