my vocabulary is too small


How to remember a girl’s name to impress her
October 23, 2008, 6:27 am
Filed under: observations | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Ever have a girl come up to you and say, “Hey (your name)! How’s it been?” and you go “Hey! (pause) buddy…”

Not only is it embarrassing that you couldn’t remember this girl’s name, it’s ridiculous because you just called a chick “buddy.”

Whether this person is from high school, from an old party, or past networking event, this situation has happened to the best of us. If it hasn’t, you’re lying.

But behold! There are steps you can take to remember names. Sure, Tina Su gives away 7 Hacks to Remember Any Name on her blog, Think Simple Now, but who needs a 7 Hack system when I can give you a foolproof 3 Hack system?

1) Facebook the girl – nothing helps you remember a girl better once you see all her sloppy pictures in her tiny after hours outfit in Vegas.
2) Search the girl on LinkedIn – if seeing cleavage can’t help you, find out who all her past employers were and associate her name to those companies.
3) Google the girl – if you still need more help, this is the way to find out where she went to high school and what extra curricular activities she participated in.

So next time, when Ms. Came-out-of-nowhere-to-put-you-on-the-spot comes out of nowhere to put you on the spot, you can say, “Hey, Nicole! Good to see you again! How was that night at Kush Lounge? When you wore that blue minidress and drank a cranberry vodka. With your girlfriend Jesse who I couldn’t tell if she was that attractive or not because her profile picture is small. You must have been late to work the next day. Is that how you got fired from Neiman Marcus and downgraded to the Gap?”

She’ll be impressed.

No, really.



Dirty, Chinese, Sex, Food
October 6, 2008, 3:56 am
Filed under: observations | Tags: , , , , , , ,

People have been recommending “Joe’s Shanghai” as a restaurant to me. Really? Joe’s Shanghai?

I’m not sure how I feel about shitty-American-first-name-plus-respective-chinese-city as a good place to eat (I do, however, know how I feel about shitty American first names). But supposedly it really is actually well-received. So I image Googled it, and this is what a found:

It looks kind of ghetto. A little bit dirty. This is good.

Chinese food is like sex. It’s gotta be a little dirty to be good.