Filed under: conversations, dumb quotes | Tags: bad service, color printer, douchebag, Kinko's, north, shitty service, south, stupid
At a Kinko’s on a late night…
Me: Hi, I need to print color please.
Kinko’s Guy: Sorry, our color printer is broken.
Me: Any other store I can go to?
Kinko’s Guy: Well, there are only a few open 24 hours.
Me: Crap. Okay. Can you tell me which ones?
Kinko’s Guy: (sigh) Alright. Hold on.
Me: (Are you serious? This fucker is giving me attitude for doing his job?)
Me: Actually, can you get me the closest one that’s also south of here. I’m going south.
Kinko’s Guy (with some REAL attitude now): You’re gonna have to tell me if that’s when the numbers go down or up. Don’t give me “north” “south” I don’t know that.
Me: …
Me: It’s when the numbers go down.
—
Congratulations, douchebag. Why Kinko’s hired you is beyond me.
Filed under: conversations, observations | Tags: biweekly, definition, dick, English, fortnight, genius, hate, love, stupidity
Biweekly is the most retarded word that exists in the English language.
Many of you have argued that it means twice a week, or once every two weeks. As a matter of fact, it means both. Yeah. Exactly. Check it.
So to keep things clear, from now on, I’ll use the word fortnight (fourteen nights – yeah, leave it up to the English language to deprecate perfectly senseful words). Fuck “biweekly.”
Which idiot came up with that idea?
“Hey, here’s a word. It means one thing, but also means something else, and they can both make sense in the same context so the meaning is completely ambiguous.”
“Isn’t that confusing?”
“If by confusing, you mean awesome, then yeah, it’s confusing.”
“You’re a genius! I love you.”
“Thank you. I hate you.”
“What?”
“No, it’s okay. I hate you means I love you too.”
“You’re a dick.”
“Yeah I am.”
Filed under: conversations | Tags: advantages, cheap, city, dating, gold digger, gold digging, gross, money, NYC, pay, prostitution, put out, robbery
Girl I Know: So how do dates go in the city?
Me: Not sure – never been on a date in NYC before. plenty of things to do though.
GIK: Dude, if I lived in the city, I would be a compulsive dater.
GIK: Just to save money.
Me: LOL. Gross.
GIK: And have an opportunity for someone else to pay for me.
Me: Hahaha.
GIK: Well, its not like i would put out.
GIK: What do you take me for?
GIK: Gold digging is not always the same as prostitution.
Me: Actually.
Me: I was say gross to the gold digging.
—
GIK: I think though I’d be the worst kind- I definitely don’t put out.
GIK: It’s like straight robbery.
